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I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.
A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they
just don't remember who with.
Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be repaid.
If an ex-wife and her attorney fell out of an airplane which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?
Nice guys finish last... and sleep on the wet spot, too!