One-liners 0votes
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- Pagan girls make the best wives because they worship the ground you walk on.
- I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?'
- When I was
a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
- I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
- I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash.
- What do you call a used tampon floating in a river? A blood vessel.
- What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common? They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
- What do you get when you cross an elephant with a prostitute? A two-ton pickup.
- On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past.... but never forgets the present.
- Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
- Teacher: The only reason I always try to meet and know the parents better is because it helps me to forgive the children.
- What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Brothel sprouts.
- I break for imaginary objects
- What do you call a used tampon floating in a river? A blood vessel.
- Why do women prefer old gynecologists? They have shaky hands!
- What's the difference between sin and shame? It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
- How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One ... Men will screw anything.
- Money can't buy you love, but it sure makes shopping fun!
- Wrestlers don't like to be put on hold.
- My electrician usually worries about current events.
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downstairs 0votes
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