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Help Wanted Ads
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Ever look at the Help wanted ads and wonder what they really mean Here is our guide to Job Search Lingo

  • "Competitive Salary" We remain competitive
  • "Join our fast-paced company" We have no time to train you.
  • "Casual work atmosphere" We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
  • "Some overtime required" Some every night and some every weekend.
  • "Duties will vary" Anyone in the office can boss you around.
  • "Must have an eye for detail" We have no quality assurance.
  • "Career-minded" Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
  • "Apply in person" If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position has been filled.
  • "Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience" You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
  • "Problem-solving skills a must" You're walking into perpetual chaos.
  • "Requires team leadership skills" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
  • "Good communication skills" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
  • The other side of the coin .... Phrases for you to use in an interview:
  • "I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization" I've used Microsoft Office.
  • "I'm honest, hard-working and dependable" I pilfer office supplies.
  • "I take pride in my work" I blame others for any mistakes.
  • "I'm personable" I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.
  • "I am very adaptable" I've changed jobs a lot.
  • "I am on the go" I'm never at my desk.
  • "I'm highly motivated to succeed" The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.

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bitterbreakup5
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bitterbreakup5

You Park Like A…… What?
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You Park Like A Cunt.com
A blog which will help its creator come to terms with, and learn to enjoy people who simply park like cunts. Ask us a question! Submit a picture of a parking cunt!

Cook The Man Some Eggs!
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