One-liners
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Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we
met.
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
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Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
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When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
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When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
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I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
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Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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