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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Don't play stupid with me.... I'm better at it!
Too many freaks, not enough circuses!
The more I learn, the
less I understand.
Do unto others, then run.
I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
My wife gets more dirt out of a phone than she can out of a vacuum cleaner!
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills.
Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
I used to be a heavy gambler but now I just make mental bets; that's how I lost my mind.