Three Wishes 0votes
A State Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet.
He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass
"This would look nice on my mantelpiece," he thinks, so he takes it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes.
"I wish for an ice cold diet Pepsi right now!"
A Pepsi appears before him on his desk, so he picks it up and guzzles it all at once.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish.
"I wish to be on an island where only beautiful women reside."
Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully.
He then tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever again."
He's back in his government office.
Mating Pigs 0votes
A farmer had five female pigs and, as times were hard, he had determined to take them to the county fair and sell them.
While at the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male
After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles away from one another and so they agreed to drive thirty miles and find a field in which to mate their pigs.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 am., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle they had, and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied, "If they're in the grass grazing in the morning, then they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, then they're not."
The next morning they were rolling in the mud, so he hosed them off, loaded them again into the family station wagon and proceeded to try again.
The following morning, MUD again!!!
This continued all week until one morning the farmer was so tired that he couldn't get out bed.
He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me if the pigs are in the mud or in the field."
"Neither," reported his wife. "They're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."