5 Top Jokes

The Fourth Chappati

A newly weds went for honeymoon in train from Delhi to Mumbai.

Due to the heavy booking they had to sleep on separate berth.

The husband told the wife, to make it easy, you just tell me that you want a chappati, then I 'll climb onto your berth and we can make love.

So, as the train moves an hour later, the wife calls the husband, "Darling, I want a chappati."

The husband gets on with the task.

When finished, the husband returned to his berth.

This process went for about THREE TIMES, and the husband had no choice but to oblige his new, young and beautiful wife.

What a nice honeymoon!

In the morning they sat in the buffet car for breakfast.

The husband asked the wife, "How was the chappati last night?"

The wife replied,"I liked the FOURTH chappati………..the best!".

The husband was surprised and said, " I thought I gave you only THREE chappati!"

On the next table replied a husky sadarji, " I found the oven was still warm so I fried my chappati there too!" 


Ring Ma Bell!

Twelve priests were about to be ordained.

The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction.

She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos.

Poor Carlos.

As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.

He bent over to pick it up…..

And all the other bells started to ring.


Bubbas Daughters

Bubba had three daughters.

One Saturday evening the door bell rang.

Bubba answered the door, where he was greeted by a young man with bad case of acne.

The boy smiled, and said, "Hi, my name is Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo. We're going to see a show. Can she go?"

Bubba shook his head, and told his daughter to have a nice time.

A short time later there was a knock at the door.

Upon opening the door Bubba was greeted by another pimple faced boy who smiled and said, "Hi, my name is Eddie. I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going out for spaghetti. Is she ready?"

Bubba shook his head, and kissed his daughter good night.

No sooner had Bubba sat down that the bell rang again. 

Bubba opened the door to be greeted by a boy with clear skin who said, "Hi, My name is Chuck."

With that, Bubba shot him…


The Palm Reader

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.

Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

Paul readily agreed and the palm reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."

"That's true," said Paul.

"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from the 'love line' on my palm?"

"Love line? No, from the calluses." 



One day, a teacher walked into her classroom and found, written on the board, “penis” in very small letters.

She erased the board after looking around for who did it.

The next day, she came in and found “penis” written in very large letters.

She looked around for the culprit, but could not figure out who did it.

The next day, she walked in and “penis” was covering the whole board.

She was very mad at this point, and she vigorously erased it.

Still not knowing who did it, she went on with class.

The next day, she reluctantly walked in the classroom expecting”penis” written on the board, but instead there was a note.

It said: penis- the more you rub it, the bigger it gets.


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