Ghost Q & A 0votes
Q: Why do you find ghosts hanging around liquor stores?
A: That’s where they get their boo’s.
Three Husbands 0votes
Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands’ performance as a lover.
The first woman says "My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."
"The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that."
"The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it’s going to be when I get it."
Top 10 Reasons Computers Must Be Male 0votes
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They’ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody’s home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter
Politician Crash 0votes
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field.
The old farmer after seeing what happened went over to investigate.
He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren’t, but you know how them politicians lie."
Lost In A Balloon 0votes
A man is flying around in a hot air baloon, and realizes that he is lost.
He reduces altitude and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon near the man and shouts: "Excuse me, but can you tell me where I am?"
The man down below says: "Yes! You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology" says the balloonist.
"As a matter of fact, I do!" replies the man, "how did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you’ve told me is technically correct, but it’s of no use whatsoever."
The man below says: "Well then! You must be in upper management!"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know that?"
"Because you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, and you expect me to be able to help! Plus, you’re just as lost as you were before we met, but now you think it’s all my fault!"