5 Blonde Jokes

Courtroom Drama
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A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama today when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.

When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Port Power, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

 

5 Dollars Worth
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Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday, and across the street was a brothel.

Day after day they saw men go up, knock on the door, go in, and eventually come out happy and smiling.

One day they became curious and decided to see what was going on.

The madam answers the door and looks down at the boys, and asks what they want.

They explain what they saw, and tell her that they are curious as to what goes on inside.

The Madam thinks for a moment, shrugs, and says, "Do you have 5 dollars?"

Both boys dig deep into their pockets and come up with a total of 50 cents.

She says, "OK, that will have to do," as she proceeds to lift her skirt and pull down her panties.

She tells both boys to take a sniff, which they do.

She closes the door and the kids proceed home.

About halfway down the block one boy turns to the other and says, "Ya know Joey, I don't think I coulda stood 5 dollars worth of that."

 

Their Versions
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A girl and a boy are having a relationship of about four months now.

One Friday night they meet at a bar after work.

They stay for a few, then went to get some food at a local restaurant near their respective homes.

They eat then go back to his house and she stays over.

Her story:

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn’t say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow-going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately.

So we went to this restaurant and he’s STILL a bit funny and I’m trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it’s me or something else. I ask him, and he says, “No.” But you know I’m not really sure.

Anyway, in the cab back to his house, I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me. I don’t know what the hell this means because you know he doesn’t say it back or anything.

We finally get back to his place and I’m wondering if he’s going to dump me! So I try to ask him about it, but he just switches on the TV. Reluctantly, I say I’m going to go to sleep. Then, after about ten minutes, he joins me and we have sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just want to leave.

I dunno, I just don’t know what he thinks anymore.

I mean, do you think he’s met someone else ???

 

His story:
Shitty day at work, low on funds, and tired. Got laid though.

 

Thumb Sucker
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There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb.

His mother finally told him that if he didn’t stop sucking his thumb, he’d get fat.

Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge.

The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, hah! I know what you’ve been doing!"

Did It Hurt?
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Two five year old boys are standing at the potty to pee.

One says, "Your thing doesn’t have any skin on it!"

"I’ ve been circumcised." the other one says.

"What’s that mean?"

"It means they cut the skin off the end."

"How old were you when it was cut off?"

"My Mom said I was two days old."

"Did it hurt?"

"You bet it hurt, I couldn’t walk for a year!"

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