Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. It is a simple test of your English language skills. Unless you pass it
, you cannot qualify for this job.' Mujibar said, 'I am ready.' The manager said, 'You must make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green . ' Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, 'Mister manager, I am ready.' The manager said, 'Go ahead.' Mujibar said, 'The telephone goes: green, green, and I pink it up, and say, Yellow, this is Mujibar.' Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him.
After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend, Mitch remembered he had a Dentist appointment. However, he was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath. So, he brushed his teeth 7 times, used
dental floss 8 times and on top of that, he gargled a whole bottle of Listerine. As he arrived at the dentist office, he sucked 2 strong mints. His turn came up and the dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident and relaxed, Mitch opened his mouth wide. The dentist got close and said, "Mother of God, did you have sex in the 69 position before you came here?” Mitch was stunned, turned to his dentist and said, “Does my breath smell like pussy?” "No,” the dentist replied, “your forehead smells like shit!”
An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah. He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I'm only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training
school, I have never been with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?" Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because assholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they are quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty." The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?" Allah replied, "Who said they were women?"
A wealthy Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a
rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out. Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, in appreciation for giving his blood, the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and $50,000 dollars. A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate more of his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Black Magic chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before. He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money ... but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates." To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins."
A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his 1911 Colt pistol and yelled, "I have a .45 Colt with an eight shot clip and I want to know who's been screwing my
wife?" A voice from the back of the room called out... "You'll need more ammo!"