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10 Random Jokes

Hunting Unicorns
***  1vote

Two hunters were in a lodge, making small talk.

One of them asked the other "So, what do you hunt?"

He answered "I hunt unicorns."

The first hunter was startled,

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Japanese
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Joe, Pete and I were washing up for lunch.

"Say, I think I'll head over to the Japanese restaurant for some sushi," bubbled Joe. "Any of you care to join me?"

"What," I said, "eat

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Limericks
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There once was a queen of Bulgaria
Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier,
Till a prince from Peru
Who came up for a screw
Had to hunt for

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Things To Remember When Camping.
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  • A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an
  • *You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.
  • *The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
  • *A large carp can be used for a pillow.
  • *Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be worn camping. Buy only those that read "Beat on a rock in stream."
  • *The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
  • *It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.
  • *Effective January 1, 2000, you will actually have to enlist in the Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.
  • *In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.
  • *Setting a Tuba on the picnic table at your campsite does an excellent job of keeping the sites around you empty.

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Don’t Hurt My Buttercups
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One day a man was out playing golf, when he sliced his shot off into a patch of buttercups.

Rather disgusted with himself, he went in search of his ball.

After finding it, he was

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My Cousin Dan
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A lawyer read the will of a rich man to the deceased's family: "To my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and $2

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Feminists
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So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

Female Seminars By Males
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  1. Elementary Map Reading
  2. Crying and Law Enforcement
  3. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR
  4. You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4
  5. Gaining Five Pounds vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrast
  6. The Seven-Outfit Week
  7. PMS: It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine "It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty....... Deal With it"
  8. Driving I: Getting Past Automatic Transmissions
  9. Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Orange Lights
  10. Driving III: Approximating a Constant Speed
  11. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It's As Simple As Oil and Water
  12. Football: Not a Game: A Sacrament
  13. Telephone Translations: formerly titled "'Me Too' Equals I Love You"
  14. How to Earn Your Own Money
  15. Gift-giving Fundamentals: formerly titled "Fabric Bad, Electronics Good"
  16. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
  17. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
  18. Yes, You Can Fill Up At A Self Serve Station
  19. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+Channels
  20. What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
  21. His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too
  22. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
  23. Commitment Schmittment (formerly titled "Wedlock Schmedlock"
  24. To Honor and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above "I Do"
  25. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House
  26. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man?

 

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Exercise for seniors
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Just came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders.

It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my younger friends.

The article suggested

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Jesus And Moses
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Jesus and Moses get together for a little reunion.

Moses says" I haven't parted a sea in a long time".

So he raises his hands, and a sea parts.

He looks a Jesus and says"Damn that was fun".

So

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