10 Random Jokes

dental floss, and also used a whole 4-oz. bottle of Listerine.

As he arrived at the Dentist's office, he also ate a whole packet of strong mint Tic-Tacs.

His turn came up and the Dentist told him to take a seat in the chair.

Feeling confident and relaxed, he opened his mouth wide.

The Dentist got close and asked, "So, you had a 69 before you came here, eh?"

Joe asked, exasperated, "How did you know?  Does my breath still smell like pussy?"

The dentist replied, "No... you have a skidmark on your forehead."     

 

himself from the bed.

Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.

Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture.

His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand, shaking made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

Stay out of those!!!" she said.

"They're for the funeral !!"

just pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and its 9:30 already.'

'I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!'

The dentist thought to himself, 'My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.'

So the dentist asked him, 'Which tooth is it sir?'

The man turned to his wife and said, 'Open your mouth, Honey, and show him.'

 

us."

"Fortunately, you've only sustained some minor lacerations on your buttocks," the doctor said. "You're a very lucky man."

"You said it, doc," the man replied. "A minute sooner and it would have fractured my skull."

 

pretty good dance combo for the gig, and a good time is had by all.

At the end of the night, the entertainment chairman tells the Viola player how much everyone enjoyed the band.

"If you're available" he says, "we'd love to have you for our New Years party next year too."

The Viola player checks his date book.

"Its OK, I'm available" he says. "Listen, would it be OK if I left my instrument here until then?"

chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."

 

me no dang lantern."

"Sure Pa, I know," the boy said. "And look what you got!"