5 Little Johnny Jokes

excitedly.

"Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary definition of the word 'warm'."

Little Johnny was pleased until he went home and, just for fun, checked his dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."

 

the teacher, "anyone else?"

Little Johnny stood up and said "I think love is fucking".

The teacher was shocked and told little Johnny to go home and not to come back without a note from his father.

The next morning Little Johnny was back in class, the teacher asked, "Do you have a note from your father?"

Little Johnny said, "No, my father said love is fucking and anyone that says it is not is a cock sucker and he doesn't correspond with cock suckers."

 

a good job. What comes after ten?"

"A jack," says the kid.

I am, a real Melbourne taxi driver, driving up Lygon Street at 70 miles and hour and picking up speed."

As he was busily steering, he was also making the accompanying noises of blowing the horn, cursing out pedestrians who ran across the street in front of him, giving drivers the one-finger salute who got in his way, and screeching his brakes as he tried to avoid being hit or hitting someone.

Little Mary was sitting on her tricycle watching intently.

Becoming interested in what he was doing and all the excitement he was having, she asked, "Johnny, can I please go riding with you. When you take that politician to his office, can I ride with you? Pleeeeeease Johnny!, Pleeeeeeeease!"

"Wait just a minute," little Johnny said, as he cut back the sound of his motor and began to slow down the sounds of his motor.

"I'll drop this guy off, swing around the block, come up the right way on that one-say street you're on and take you up for a quick ride."

Little Mary climbed on the back of the vegetable crate and said, "I'm in, let's go!"

"Hey, fasten your seat belt," little Johnny commanded. "I'm a real taxi driver and I like to drive fast. The faster I drive, the more money I make and the more people I hear scream. So, prepare yourself, I'm fixing to make the tires squeal!"

After checking things out and revving up the engine, off the went.

About the time he was up to 80 miles and hour, and had narrowly missed a tour bus, Little Mary announced that she had to pee pee.

"Hey, don't make to stop right now, I'm on the way to the airport to catch a flight for some guy who's late.

"I'm sorry, but you'll just have to hold on for a second," Little Johnny said quite concerned with her discomfort. "You've got to hang in there for another minute or so!"

Little Johnny heard something that sounded like water running and when he looked down he saw a stream of yellow running between his feet.

Then, he glanced around and to see better he turned around and stared -- there sat Little Mary with her 'girlhood' exposed.

"Gee, that little thing is cute," he said, "real cute. Would you mind if I touch it?"

She nodded that he could, and he did -- ever so very briefly. 

"Hey, would you like to kiss it?" she asked.

"Hell no, I don't. You got me all wrong. You must have forgotten just who you're riding with," exclaimed Little Johnny. "I ain't Don Lane or Bob Hawke, I'm just a Melbourne taxi driver!"

 

where you came from."

Johnny went to school the next day smiling, insisting that all his friends refer to him as "Lucky Johnny."

"Why?" one asked.

Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because I came this close to being a turd."