Praying Johnny 0votes
Little Johnny was walking along the railroad tracks when suddenly he got his foot caught under one of the railroad ties.
He tried to get it out but it was really stuck.
As he struggled to free
To his horror he saw a train coming.
Panicked he started to pray, "God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop being bad!"
Nothing happened, his foot was still stuck.
He looked up to see the train getting closer!
He prayed again, "God, please get my foot out and I'll stop swearing AND being bad!"
Still nothing, his foot was wedged tight.
The train was just seconds away!
Little Johnny struggled frantically as the train's horn blared.
He tried his plea one more time, "God, please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll quit being bad, I'll stop swearing, AND I'll stop trying to look up little Mary's dress."
Just as the train was about to hit Johnny, his foot broke free and he fell backwards, the train narrowly missing him.
He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said "Thanks anyway God, I got it myself..."
Johnnys Opinion 0votes
One day Little Susie got her "monthly bleeding" for the first time in her life.
Having failed to understand what was going on and being really frightened, she decided to share her trouble with
Having found Johnny she told and showed him what her problem was.
Johnny's face grew serious and he said, "You know, I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
Johnnys First Wet Dream 0votes
Johnny's mother entered little Johnny's room and woke him.
"Come on Johnny time to wake and get ready for school"
Johnny groggily pleaded, "Ahhh come on mom, just 5 more minutes please!"
After little Johnny had his shower.
His mother heard him crying as he came down stairs. "Johnny, What's wrong."
"I had my first wet dream"
His mother was a little unsettled with his response.
She replied. "Well that isn't anything to be upset about. It's perfectly natural and normal. It means you're growing up"
"No mom it isn't that. You don't understand!"
"Well what is it then?"
"When my friends ask me. What I said after my first ejaculation. I'm going to have to say - Ahhh come on mom, just 5 more minutes please!"
Math Class 2 0votes
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3' I said "6".
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
Little Johnny's mother decided to hostess a dinner party.
At the table she turned Johnny and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say." he
"Just say what you hear Mommy say." his mom said.
Little Johnny proceeded to bow his head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"