A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.
The first kid sat in the first row was a teacher's pet.
"My name is Dan, and when I become a man,
I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."
The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room.
She stood up and answered the roll call by stating,
"My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to
have a baby if I can, and I think I can."
The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room.
He stood up and said,
"My name is Johnny, and I don't give a damn about Japan
but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think I can!"
Stand Up! 0votes
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Rubbing It 0votes
A third grade teacher came in to the room one day and found a drawing of a penis on the blackboard.
She suspiciously looked at her students but didn't say anything.
Instead, she rubbed it
The next day, she came in and saw another drawing of an even bigger one on the board.
She frowns and rubs it off.
The third day, she came in and saw another one drawn on the board.
This time, it's huge, covering up almost half of the space.
She couldn't take it anymore so she screams out to the room full of noisy children, "Why do you kids like drawing this penis on the board? And why is it getting bigger each day?"
Little Johnny then screams out back to her, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asked, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
"Yes, Father it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't
"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later,so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Volpe?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capeli?"
"I'm sorry but I cannot name her. "
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed. "
"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you. "
The priest sighs in frustration.
"You're very tightlipped, Johnny Parisi and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot attend church services for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads. "
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ... just fucking beautiful!..'