A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills.
The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.'
He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R."
The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?"
Another little boy stands
Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong."
The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?"
Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E."
"Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?"
Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."
Little Johnny was left to fix lunch.
When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed that Johnny had already strained the tea.
So the two women sipped their tea happily while having lunch and chit-chatted.
"Was it hard finding the tea strainer in the kitchen?" his mother asked.
"Ma, I couldn't find it, so I used the fly swatter." replied Johnny.
His mother nearly fainted, so Johnny hastily added, "Don't get excited, Ma, I used the old one!"
Two Dicks 0votes
Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class one day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board.
"Does anyone know what
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sure, my daddy has two of them!"
"Two of them?!" the teacher asked. "Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to brush mommy's teeth!"
Selling Chickens 0votes
One day Little Johnny went walking around to check out his surroundings and found a farmer selling chickens.
Little Johnny went over to the farmer to see how much he was selling them for.
The farmer asked
Little Johnny asked for both.
So the farmer said, "Here you go, one cock and one pullet."
Little Johnny got confused, and asked him what he meant.
The farmer said, "A cock is a male chicken and a pullet is a female chicken."
Little Johnny said, "Oh," and went on his way with two chickens one under each arm.
A bit further down the road he saw a donkey for sale.
He went to the man who was selling it to find out how much it was.
The man said, "The ass is 15 dollars."
Little Johnny replied, "No, I want the donkey out side in your yard."
The man just said, "That's an ass."
Little Johnny, new to these terms, just said, "Oh," and bought the donkey.
As he was leaving the man yelled out, "Wait, the ass gets a bit stubborn about going over hills, so you have to scratch him behind the ears to get him going again."
So Little Johnny is going back home and the donkey stops dead in its tracks and he can't get it to move.
He can't scratch its ear because he would have to drop one of the chickens and it would run away.
So Little Johnny starts to fuss and yell at the donkey.
While he is doing this a beautiful woman walks up and asks him if he needs help.
Little Johnny thinks, hey, why don't I try to impress this beautiful woman by using my new terms that I learned today.
So Little Johnny turns to the woman and says, "Yeah, could you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?"
Little Johnny drew a fly on the class grade book.
It looked so realistic, that when Miss Baker saw the fly sitting on the notebook, she
The fly didn't fly away.
So she slammed the book once again, again the fly didn't fly away.
This drove Miss Baker really mad, so she started to pound the book with the ruler and, as a result, the grade book became a bunch of torn sheets of paper.
With the class laughing, she realized what had happened.
Then Miss Baker called Little Johnny's father to school.
"You see what your son did to our class grade book?" she said.
"That's nothing." replied the father. "Last month, he drew a naked woman on a fence and for two weeks straight I was pulling splinters out of my dick."