Little Johnny's next door neighbours had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born with no ears.
When they brought the baby home the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby.
He said "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home."
"I promise not to mention his ears at all" said Little Johnny.
At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby's hand.
He looked at it's mother and said "Oh What a Beautiful little baby".
The mother said "Thank you very much, Johnny."
then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little
feet. Why just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say
that he can see good?"
The Mother said "why, yes his doctor said he has 20/20 vision.
Little Johnny said "well, its a darn good thing cause he sure couldn't wear glasses!!!"
Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side.
He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.
Her pale lips moved. "Jake," she said.
"Hush", he quickly interrupted, "Don't talk."
But she insisted. "Jake", she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I must confess."
"There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Jake. "It's all right. Everything's all right."
"No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have been unfaithful to you."
Jake stroked her hand.
"Now, Becky, don't be concerned. I know all about it", he sobbed. "Why else would I poison you?"
Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they know that they are in love.
One day they decide they want to get married, so Little Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask
Little Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I'm asking for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Little Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Little Johnny replies. "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."
Again, Little Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance... Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Little Johnny has put so much thought into this.
So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Little Johnny won't have an answer to.
After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Little Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Little Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "That's okay, I'll just keep shagging her up the arse for now..."
Little Johnny came home from his hot date and sat down to talk with his dad.
He had a smile on his face.
'It must be true love, dad' he sighed.
'What makes you think that it is
'Well," says Little Johnny, 'Suzy started out giving me the best blow job I've ever had.'
'Nah,' replied his dad, 'that's not true love, it is just lust.'
The next night Little Johnny came in after his date, and sat down again to talk with his dad.
'For sure it is true love, dad.' he said.
'What makes you think that it is true love this time?' asks his dad.
'Well," says Little Johnny, 'Tonight Suzy gave me the best blow job of my life, then let me take her up the ass!'
'That's not true love, Johnny,' replied his dad, 'that is just infatuation.'
'If what Suzy and I have is just infatuation, then what is true love?' asked Little Johnny, confused.
'Well,' says his dad, 'if it was true love, she would let you fuck her up the ass first, then give you the best blow job of your life!'
Little Johnny In Love
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students.
Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love," the
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With YOU!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!"
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months," then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"
Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."