5 Lawyer Jokes

where we are".

Harry lets out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover.

George says, "I still can't tell where we are, lets ask that guy on the ground".

So Harry yells down to the man, "Hey, could you tell us where we are?"

And the man on the ground yells back, "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air".

George turns to Harry and says, "That man must be a lawyer".

Harry asks, "How can you tell?"

George says, "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate, and totally useless".

 

SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

Sam again "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"

"Yes," says Sam, "I saw him do it."

Then the lawyer asks Sam "Sam, listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?."

Sam says "I can see the moon, how far is that?"

the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it.

The man said, "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story."

He purchased the brass rat and left the store.

As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him.

The further he walked, the more rats followed.

He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him.

So, he decided to walk out into the water, which he did and all the rats drowned.

He returned to the store shortly and when he walked in, the proprietor said, "Ah ha! You came back to pay the $1,000 for the story, right?"

"No," replied the man, "I came back to see if you have any brass lawyers!"