5 Lawyer Jokes

Q & A
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Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

A: She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.

Bar Association
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 Q: Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from  having  sex?

 A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same  service.

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Legally Dying
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An attorney was on his deathbed in the hospital.

When a friend came to visit, he found the lawyer frantically leafing through the Bible.

"What are you doing?" the visitor asked.

The sick lawyer replied, "Looking

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Stamp Recall
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The post office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers.
It seems people were confused as to which side to spit on.

What’s In A Name?
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PROFESSION NAME
Lawyer's daughter Sue
Thief's son Rob
Lawyer's son Will
Doctor 's son Bill
Meteorologist's daughter Haley
Steam shovel operator's son Doug
Hair stylist's son Bob
Homeopathic doctor's son Herb
Justice of the peace's daughter Mary
Sound stage technician's son Mike
Hot-dog vendor's son Frank
Gambler's daughter Bette (as in Midler)
Exercise guru's son Jim
Cattle thief's son Russell
Painter's son Art
Iron worker's son Rusty
TV show star's daughter Emmy
Movie star's son Oscar
Barber's son Harry
Housewife's son Dusty
Minister's daughter Faith
Day-trader's daughter Hope
Televangelist's daughter Charity
IRS agent's daughter Mony
Geneticist's son Gene
Espresso vendor's son Joe
Undertaker's son Barry
Beautician's son Curly
Gardener's son Moe
Florist's daughter Rose
Baker's daughter Cookie
Manicurist's son Hans
Athlete's son Victor
Lumberjack's son Glenn
Plumber's son John
Accountant's daughter Ira
Musician's daughter Melody
Jeweller's daughter Opal
Gastro-enterologist's daughter Fanny
Politician's daughter Patsy

 

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