2 Random Jokes

The midget arrives, and the owner asks him if he wants a male or female horse.
"A female horth," the midget replies.
And so, the owner shows him one. "Nith looking horth, can I thee her mouth?"
The owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nith mouth. Can I thee her eyesth?"
The owner is becoming atad irritable, but nonetheless, he picks up the midget and shows him the horse's eyes.
"Okay, what about her earth?"
Now the owner is getting really ticked off.
Nevertheless, he picks up the midget one more time and shows him the horse's ears.
"Okay, finally, I'd like to thee her twat."
With that, the disgruntled owner picks up the midget and shoves his head up the horse's rear end.
The midget shakes his head and gasps, "Perhapth I should rephrase. I'd like to thee her run!"

everything was beautiful.

His grandmother remarked, "Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"

Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed."

This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him, "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?"

"Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!"